What does it mean to be an artist?

This is a bit of a rant. No offense is intended, but I wanted to make a point that has gone unsaid for a very long time.

Recently, I received the survey from the New York Artists Circle regarding our art practice. This is a list serve and group that I have been associated with for over 20 years. I was happy to fill it out. Reading the questions though, had me thinking how not everything in being an artist is taken into consideration. Let me explain.

In filling out the survey, it caused a reaction in me because honestly I did not see myself in this survey. It did not include me or how I experience what it means to be an artist. It did not take into consideration a different way of practicing. It felt like a bit of a pigeon hole.

The survey specifically addressed how much time is spent promoting one’s work. It assumes that as an artist one’s main goal would be to attract a gallery or buyers. In our capitalistic world this makes total sense. But what if one no longer cares about buyers, or spending endless amounts of unrewarding hours trying to attract them?

In my own case, I no longer have an interest in galleries, unless of course one finds me and shows interest in what I do. I have taken the time often to look at the work of the artists who are part of NYAC. Many are very accomplished painters and sculptors. Many are the finest of fine art. Many have attended prestigious universities and maintain active studio practices. 

If you have a studio practice you should understand right from the get go that you are privileged. Having a studio requires resources not everyone has access to. Real estate in NYC as EVERYONE knows is off the chain. Finding a one bedroom that is affordable is already a big deal.

To be an oil painter is expensive too, if you look at the cost of high quality paints, professional quality brushes and the surfaces to paint on. There are cheaper ways around all of that but if you wish to do it right, you need to spend a bit cash. And then there is the time dedicated to making art. This in itself is a privilege because it requires the resource to make work without any foreseeable compensation and the time to do so.

My career has been very different, than most of you in this group. I do not maintain a separate studio space. I have always had to figure out how to continue to do what I love in not much space. Currently, what serves as a studio, is my bedroom which is fortunately large. I have my desk and computer set up with storage cabinets. A drawing desk with two lamps on the other side of the room and one easy chair where I have produced hundreds of drawings over the past decade. There is also my bed, two dressers, a music stand and all my guitars. It is a creative cave.

There was a time when I sought out group shows, but as I get older I have no interest in them. My last entry was in 2019. I watch how people take in my work in a public setting. My work requires patience to look at, and many do not have the attention span, especially given the chaos of group show openings.

My preference for promotion and showing comes from publishing. My work is primarily cartoon influenced. My goal, if I can share it is to have the questions of a deep spiritual search mixed with a medium that has always been perceived as commercial. 

In 2013, after producing 200 small, labor intensive drawings, I decided to self publish a 100 page hard cover book. How I did it was to raise the money through crowd funding to pay for the printing and rewarded donors with some version of the book based on their donation tier. Some even got a t-shirt and a few received prints or original drawings. I raised 5K for this project which covered all my costs and even allowed me to purchase a few expensive supplies. I distributed 70 hard cover books and over 100 digital versions.

In 2020, I decided to just go ahead and print a comic sized vehicle for my work and got a philosophy scholar/friend to write the foreword. Just this past week, I have released a second comic style booklet that houses my attempt to deconstruct sequential art (comics) and I am beginning work on another with a completely different focus.

The reason I am telling you all this is that there are always alternatives to how you promote and present yourself. Life is more that just an old tired idea of success. We have all been spoon-fed on these false ideas of what it means to be an artist in this world. We all heard it when we were kids. “How are you going to make a living doing that?” “What are you, crazy or something? Go get a real job!”

So I listened. Seeing that it was too difficult to work as an illustrator or work odd jobs while upholding a practice, I became an art director and for almost 40 years freelanced, went to work daily just so I could pay my bills. Pay for daycare, pre school, diapers. Kept food in the house. Gas in the car. Struggled for that American dream that never seemed to arrive.

6 years ago, at the age of 60, something big changed. My wife and I became stewards of a social justice project in the Bronx which came with housing. As we began to develop this fledgling project, my design career seemed to go bye bye. And I was happy to let it go. I was now free to focus on life. Life as a creative individual that loves diverse activity. I run art programming here. I have become a very good grant writer bringing the project from no money to low six figures with a crew that executes most of the physical work and gets paid for it. This has allowed me to focus on my own work as well and enjoy what it means to lead an “art life.” 

My “art life” does not include galleries, group shows or fairs. Because of my professional knowledge and skills, I am able to promote my work in a host of other ways. I am not looking for the fleeting gratification one might get from a buyer or an article. I have had those. I am happy if a buyer comes and really appreciates what I do, but I do not live for it.

I feel fortunate. I wanted to express this because I watch the conversations posted often on the NYAC list serve. I am a member the NYAC website. I love the association with this group. But sometimes I feel left out because my understanding of what it means to maintain an art practice seems to be very different from most of you. Also consider that I am one of the few males in this group. My difference have led to my being snubbed on occasion because highly schooled academic studied artists just don’t get that I might be walking in a different creative realm. 

This begs the need for a real conversation. What does it mean to be an artist today? Do I feel ashamed that I have not achieved the kind of notoriety that those I have admired have? When do I get free of all these expectations?

If I am not for myself, then who will be for me.
If I am for myself alone, then, Who am I?
And if not NOW, When?
—Hillel the Elder